Let’s face it men. Women are interested in one thing…
Spell it with me.
Get your mind out of the gutter! You wish it was that.
And I’m going to show you how to give it to her.
Protecting Your Wife… Life Insurance Style
I’ll make this simple.
If your wife depends on your income to pay the bills, and you don’t have life insurance, what the hell is wrong with you?
… Seriously, where’s she going to live without your income?
Besides just providing security for your wife, life insurance has many other shocking benefits. Consider the following:
10 Shocking Ways I Shut Up My Wife with Life Insurance
I have a $1.7 Million policy on my life. Not only is my wife happy about this, but I was surprised to see how my wife did a 180 after I bought my big policy.
Here’s how I believe this works…
Having made such a sacrifice for your wife, she’ll feel the need to reciprocate, and you may notice that not only will she cut you some slack, but she’ll also become much more interested in your health and well-being.
Here are a few changes I’ve noticed in my wife.
Health & Diet Related (1-7):
- Greasy Fast Food – She used to get on my case for eating this crap. Not anymore! She has seemed to turn over a new leaf in this regard, and constantly tells me how skinny I am, and how I need to fatten up.
- All of a sudden, she’s a research fanatic. She found this informative article about how cigarettes actually offer many health benefits, such as help with anxiety and can be used as an anti-inflammatory agent, and is now encouraging that I start smoking. When I told her that I don’t like the way nicotine makes me feel, she came up with this great idea… why not use Nicorette to help me work up to smoking? If it can help people quit smoking by giving them a dose of nicotine, surely it would help me to start smoking, right? Brilliant.
- As an addition to #2, she’s now looking into the health benefits of meth and cocaine (for example, the Transform Drug Policy Foundation in the UK ran this mind-blowing study showing that the World Health Organization reported that occasional cocaine use doesn’t lead to any medical issues, and in fact, “has positive therapeutic benefits”).
- Flatliner Fries – She’s been really good about packing my lunch, and including my favorite snack every day… French fries, fried in 100% lard. We call them flatliner fries, as they are inspired by my favorite restaurant, the Heart Attack Grill.
- She has completely cut lettuce and other veggies and fruits out of my diet – after researching about the hazards of lettuce in this article, along with many other posts discussing the perils of eating vegetables, such as this one, “10 Vegetables You Shouldn’t be Eating,” I’m finally off those poisonous, foul tasting veggies. (When I pointed out the article above was really picking on unhealthy foods disguised behind a vegetable’s name, such as spinach dip or carrot cake, my wife wisely recommended I steer clear of every vegetable because “it’s better to be safe than sorry.”)
- Quit Exercising – At first glance, this one may seem counter intuitive, but yes, she’s also convinced me to cut out my work out routine… I never knew exercising could be so bad for me until she showed me this article.
- 12,000 Calorie Diet – You may ask, “with all the food research your wife has done, what diet have you finally settled on?” I’m pleased to say that after much debate, my wife and I have finally settled on a diet that is both nutritious and satisfying… the Michael Phelps diet. Although, this one was really more of just common sense than research based. All we had to do was look at a picture of Mr. Phelps, and I knew that’s what I wanted to look like.
Enjoying this Post? Please Share:
- Chicks Dig Guys with Big Policies – A Must Read by @highrisklife – Click to Tweet
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- 10 Ways to Shut Up Your Wife with Life Insurance by @highrisklife – Click to Tweet
General Nagging (8-10)
- You know when you leave to go out with the guys, and your wife tells you to “drive safe and don’t do anything stupid.” For some reason, I don’t hear that anymore.
- She has completely stopped bugging me about my crazy ideas to go skydiving or paragliding. In fact, she encourages it. She says she’s “turned over a new leaf on nagging me”, after reading this Men’s Health article on how nagging wives cause their husbands to get stressed out, and we all know stress can lead to high blood pressure and more.
- There’s a slew of other things she has eased up on: doctor visits, changing my brake pads, drinking too much alcohol and soda, just to name a few, but most importantly, in the unlikely event that I should pass away, we both know she’ll be well taken care of with my $1.7 Million life insurance death benefit.
*I don’t know if a disclaimer is really necessary for numbers 1-10 above, but for all the morons out there, let me just say, I’m totally joking about all 10 of the above. You’re an idiot if you think smoking or doing cocaine is good for you, or anything else my wife has recommended to me.
As you can see from the examples above, my wife loves me more than ever.
The Size of Your Policy Matters – How Much Do I Need?
The general rule of thumb is to have 10X your income, although if you are younger, and have 30 to 40 years left in your working career, you might want to go higher. You can also see or life insurance calculator for more help here.
Life insurance is dirt cheap, in most cases, especially if you are under age 50.
Here are a few sample quotes:
|20 Year Term Quotes|
|Monthly Rate for Male, Non Smoker, Excellent Health|
*Please note these monthly rates are based on a male in excellent health, non-tobacco user, and were last updated on 6/20/13.
I realize this post is pretty void of any real content about life insurance, so if you are interested, here are a few helpful links on our site you’ll want to check out:
To request a quote, simply fill out the quote form on the right or call us at 877-443-9467.*Written by Chris Huntley. Huntley Wealth Insurance and its representatives do not give legal or tax advice. Please consult your own legal or tax adviser.