Let’s face it men. Women are only interested in one thing…
Spell it with me.
Get your mind out of the gutter! You wish it was that.
And I’m going to show you how to give it to her.
Don’t make your wife pick out the ugliest guy in the bar (again)
I’ll make this simple.
If your wife depends on your income to pay the bills and you don’t have life insurance, what the hell are you doing?
… Seriously, where’s she going to even live without your income?
Or let me put this to you in another way:
If you don’t take care of her, maybe another man will!
So what’s the hold up?
- Don’t think you can afford it? Check out our Pennies from Heaven Strategy here.
- Have a medical issue? We gotcha covered.
- Need a ballpark quote? Go here.
Don’t ever let your wife have to think the following:
The good news?
The problem is easily correctable.
Buy her a big policy!
Here are some of our best “divorce insurance” articles:
- Case Study: When $100,000 Life Insurance Premium is a No Brainer
- Best Quotes for $1 Million to $2 Million of Life Insurance
- and you guessed it… Best Quotes for $3 Million to $5 Million of Life Insurance
Or if you need something a bit smaller, grab a quote using our banner below.
Many plans start at $14 per month!
Besides just providing security for your wife, life insurance has many other shocking benefits.
Consider the following:
Your Wife Will Go Crazy Over It!! 10 Unexpected Benefits from My Life Insurance Purchase
I have a $1.7 Million policy on my life. Not only is my wife happy about this, but I was surprised to see how she did a 180 after I bought my big policy.
Little things she used to nag about…
Here’s how I believe this works:
Having made such a sacrifice for your wife, she’ll feel the need to reciprocate, and you may notice that not only will she cut you some slack, but she’ll also become much more interested in your health and well-being.
Here are a few changes I’ve noticed in my wife.
Health & Diet Related (1-7):
#1 – Greasy Fast Food? Yes Please!!
Brenda used to get on my case for eating this crap. Not anymore! She has seemed to turn over a new leaf in this regard, and constantly tells me how skinny I am, and how I need to fatten up.
#2 – All of a Sudden, She’s a Research Fanatic
She found this informative article about how cigarettes actually offer many health benefits, such as help with anxiety and can be used as an anti-inflammatory agent, and is now encouraging that I start smoking.
When I told her that I don’t like the way nicotine makes me feel, she came up with this great idea… why not use Nicorette to help me work up to smoking? If it can help people quit smoking by giving them a dose of nicotine, surely it would help me to start smoking, right? Brilliant.
#3 – Concerned for My Mental Health
She’s now looking into the health benefits of meth and cocaine (for example, the Transform Drug Policy Foundation in the UK ran this mind-blowing study showing that the World Health Organization reported that occasional cocaine use doesn’t lead to any medical issues, and in fact, “has positive therapeutic benefits”).
Only a wife who truly cared about my health would go to such lengths to make sure I try cocaine!
#4 – Flatliner Fries
She’s been really good about packing my lunch, and including my favorite snack every day… French fries, fried in 100% lard. We call them flatliner fries, as they are inspired by my favorite restaurant, the Heart Attack Grill.
#5 – She has Completely Cut Lettuce and Other Harmful Veggies Out of My Diet
After researching about the hazards of lettuce in this article, along with many other posts discussing the perils of eating vegetables, such as this one, “10 Vegetables You Shouldn’t be Eating,” I’m finally off those poisonous, foul tasting veggies.
When I pointed out the article above was really picking on unhealthy foods disguised behind a vegetable’s name, such as spinach dip or carrot cake, Brenda wisely recommended I steer clear of every vegetable because “it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
#6 – Convinced Me to Quit Exercising
This is her best idea yet!
At first glance, this one may seem counter intuitive, but yes, she’s also convinced me to cut out my work out routine… I never knew exercising could be so bad for me until she showed me this article.
There’s some pretty bad stuff associated with pumping iron.
#7 – Put Me on the 12,000 Calorie Diet
You may ask, “with all the food research your wife has done, what diet have you finally settled on?”
I’m pleased to say that after much debate, my wife and I have finally settled on a diet that is both nutritious and satisfying
Although, this one was really more of just common sense than research based. All we had to do was look at a picture of Mr. Phelps, and I knew that’s what I wanted to look like.
Here’s my new daily menu:
Michael Phelps’ diet according to SportBible.com
*Update April 2017: Since first posting a version of this article in 2015, you’ll be happy to hear I’ve gotten my blood pressure down to a comfortable 230/160, my gout and diabetes medications seem to be helping and I barely notice my CPAP when I sleep anymore. If I’m being honest, it’s tough to stick to such a regimented diet, and Brenda says that’s why I’ve gained so much weight, because I’m not following it to the letter.
General Nagging (8-10)
#8 – Don’t Do Anything Stupid
You know when you leave to go out with the guys, and your wife tells you to “drive safe and don’t do anything stupid.” For some reason, I don’t hear that anymore.
#9 – Go Ahead and Jump
She has completely stopped bugging me about my crazy ideas to go skydiving or paragliding.
In fact, she encourages it.
She says she’s “turned over a new leaf on nagging me”, after reading an article on Menshealth.com discussing how nagging wives cause their husbands to get stressed out, and we all know stress can lead to high blood pressure and more.
#10 – Who Needs New Brake Pads?
There’s a slew of other things she has eased up on: doctor visits, changing my brake pads, drinking too much alcohol and soda, just to name a few, but most importantly, in the unlikely event that I should pass away, we both know she’ll be well taken care of with my $1.7 Million life insurance death benefit.
*I don’t know if a disclaimer is really necessary for numbers 1-10 above, but for all the morons out there, let me just say, I’m totally joking about all 10 of the above. You’re an idiot if you think smoking or doing cocaine is good for you, or anything else my wife has recommended to me. Please don’t attempt anything I’ve suggest above, expect to buy life insurance. You should definitely do that.
As you can see from the examples above, my wife loves me more than ever.
The Size of Your Policy Matters – How Much Do I Need?
The general rule of thumb is to have 10X your income, although if you are younger, and have 30 to 40 years left in your working career, you might want to go higher. You can also see our life insurance calculator for more help here.
Life insurance is dirt cheap, in most cases, especially if you are under age 50.
Here are a few sample quotes:
|20 Year Term Quotes|
|Monthly Rate for Male, Non Smoker, Excellent Health|
*Please note these monthly rates are based on a male in excellent health, non-tobacco user, and were last updated on 4/25/17.
I realize this post is pretty void of any real content about life insurance, and was mostly just for fun, but I hope in a light sort of way, it did open your eyes to buying life insurance if you don’t already have it.
So if you are interested, here’s a helpful resource on our site you’ll want to check out: Life Insurance 101 – A Quick Guide to Get You Started
If you’ve read this article and are thinking, “Boy, that Chris is alright. I think I may want to talk to him about insurance,” then you’ll want to request to bypass our agents and work directly with me on our contact page. If you just want to moan and groan about how sexist or demeaning this article is, please click here to send me an email.
Any other questions, give us call us at 877-443-9467.*While we make every effort to keep our site updated, please be aware that "timely" information on this page, such as quote estimates, or pertinent details about companies, may only be accurate as of its last edit day. Huntley Wealth & Insurance Services and its representatives do not give legal or tax advice. Please consult your own legal or tax adviser.